And down to less than 20

Saturday’s are always interesting at Casa de Me. I’m either running around or trying to get caught on a week’s rest. Today was a little bit of both. A little running around, a lot of working, and a little resting. Interesting combination if you ask me, but hey that’s the life I lead.

Today, I’m under 20 days before seminary at 19. This thing is getting seriously close. I’m anxious, nervous, stressed, scared, tired and ready to go all at one. How is that possible? I’ll explain.

Anxious - I’m about ready to embark on the greatest journey of my life. One that will, hopefully, lead to a better understanding of Christ, our faith, and what it means to serve others in love. I can’t wait to start, so I’m bursting at the seams.

Stressed - I’ve got a lot left to do. Some of it is from the big (computer shopping) to the little (find some boxes). In the middle, I still have to start packing. There is a lot to do and little time left to do it, while also wanting to spend time with friends before leaving. It’s enough to make you want to run around in circle and singing “I Wish.”

I wonder how that would work for me right now:

Hello.

I wish I had a little more time

I wish I had a little more dime

I wish I had an agent if I did I’d be fine

I wish I had a Mac, an iPod with 2 GB

and a UHAUL trailer

I’ll leaving the wishing to Skee-Lo.

Scared - I’ve seen three of my four syllabi for the fall season. I’m scared. We’re not talking Jesse Spano scared, but a little overwhelmed. At WVU, I was a journalism major. I would joke that I had the easiest major on campus. Not anymore. I take some solace in that while at WVU I was able to work full time and finish with a good GPA, so my time management skills will come to good use.

Tired - This is really been the biggest part of my life for the past year and now here it is standing at me. It’s tiring in that I’ve done a lot to prepare, but I don’t think I’ve done enough to rest. That is something I hope to do these next three weeks.

Now all of this is causing the usual combination of bad thoughts about everything from me to the Big Guy. Perhaps it’s a good thing. It’s allowed me to be in prayer - a lot today.

The lesson I’ve learned from today and the past few weeks is no matter what God is there and loves me and there is nothing I can do that will separate me from the Love of Christ.  The “bad thoughts” are just words, temptations even, and not who I am or a reaction of my heart and I have to stop holding myself guilty when I’m not even near indictment level of guilt.

One more thing - Christ has done a lot in molding me into the man I am today. He’s not done yet. Far from it and I can’t wait to see what He has planned next.

Hopefully, the bad rapping skills will stick around.