Global Warming - My Bad

Dear Residents of Earth,

I would like to take this time to apologize to all of you from Australia to Asia, Africa to Europe and the Americas for global warming. It has come to my attention that global warming is my fault.

You see in May 2005, I was granted a divorce by the Cleveland County District Court in North Carolina. According to a recent article by LiveScience.com’s Jeanna Bryner, my divorce may have led to the perceived  global warming problem the earth is currently facing. Bryner writes, “Divorce leaves more than a trail of legal documents, stinging egos and uprooted kids. The split-ups wreak havoc on the environment.”

So I apologize. I promise, my fellow residents of planet Earth, that the next time I get married that I will do all that I can to keep the marriage strong and healthy for fear of destroying the planet anymore than I already have with my earlier divorce. My hope and wish is that you will accept this apology and that we may be able to move on from this horrible moment in global warming.

I hope my loyal readers could note my sarcasm in this apology. But I hope that this article blaming global warming on divorce comes as another example of how poor environmental writing has become on this subject. Instead of arguing facts we tend to argue emotions. That is not a sound way to write or to argue for any one position.

Perhaps we can blame global warming on waste of column inches and energy on reports that release silly findings and tend to place the blame of global warming where it needs not be placed.